My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
