We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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