In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So. Much. Porn.
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