yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
