you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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