therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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