it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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