I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
