so explain again why im purple
no
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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