just tell him i said nine months
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
