Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
my liver is dry heaving
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize