i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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