Where is the hickey?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It was a blind-side dick pic.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize