so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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