At least make sure they are 18
Why
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
