I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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