it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
