I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Four minutes until I can fart!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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