how can u be prego again
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
