Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
