I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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