why didn't you poke me back
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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