Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
