why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
