I'm lost and stupid without you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
there is glitter all over my balls
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