Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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