She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
