A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We named our party play list daddy issues
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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