So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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