It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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