Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
