what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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