in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
