he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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