I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
