Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
