The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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