So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
