Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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