I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
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