your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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