Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
