Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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