Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
