fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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