It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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