is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
