Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize