idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
