Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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