Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
