so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
