Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize