Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
