If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
