So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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